On the impossibility of loving the self

We unconsciously criticize ourselves by keeping a record of our own follies in life littered here and there.

Bryan Krister
2 min readNov 25, 2022
Photo by Jasmine Carter from Pexels

What if the reason why we love another human being is because we are ridiculously incapable of channeling this love towards ourselves? Contrary to the popular belief that one must love out of overflowing self-love where such a love must be shared with another, love is a coping mechanism of human beings who constantly plunge themselves into the depths of self-criticism and are, in actuality, craving validation for their wretched sense of existence. We unconsciously criticize ourselves by keeping a record of our own follies in life littered here and there, because we always lay victims before our own ego. We daringly want perfection in almost everything and are quick to comment upon our own–and even that of others’–shortcomings.

That being noted, our distorted self-concept becomes a reality that we want to escape from; our coping mechanism is to love ourselves and take pride for being who we are. However, as it turns out, self-love that stems from self-concept and self-acceptance seems impossible for most of us–helpless people–who are badly in-need of it: the deflated, pushed further back at the lowest spheres of society and well-being. From this very captivity of thought, the only remedy that awaits is redemption.

The question that is aching for an answer now is: Where to find this redemption and how can we be redeemed?

Ultimately anchored to this: Is love (or the desperate attempt to be unconditionally loved) a selfish act? Is love from the standpoint of the love-giver a selfish act, too?

However, as it unfolds: What if those who are qualified to be loved–that is, those who simply have nothing meritorious to offer–do not recognize the fact that they need love? And if love is there, what if they consciously and unconsciously despise and reject it (having been used to living without such a love)? How can this be sorted out in the mind of the love-giver (the obvious self-sufficient and independent of all)?



Bryan Krister

Hi, I'm Bryan Krister. I studied BSEd Communication Arts-English and am uploading my compositions here as a hobby. The topics that I write about vary.